Jakotsu vs Suzaku
by Ididntdoit07
Summary: read title. full info inside. Jakotsu versus another phoenix gayninja in the show. and not just physically...they're, even their comrades, are alike in many ways...OOC
1. Alike?

okay, the Shichinintai you might have heard of, but what of the Hoshiyomi group? No? Then look below. This little info does contain spoilers.

The Hoshiyomi group are four ninjas by the names of Suzaku (thats my fav.), Genbu, Byakko, and Seiryuu. Their leader is Hoshiyomi who looks so much like Menomaru, it's not funny. Genbu looks likea green Renkotsu and has the same attitude. Byakko and Seiryuu are dressed in black and look like rotting things. Suzaku actually has hair. Yeah, it's red and spikey. He's very gay. (even more than Jakotsu! WOW!)

these guys are appearing when Akotoki Hojo comes around again!

want more info? email me.

**disclaimer: i dont own anything. seriously. **

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****Suzaku Vs. Jakotsu**

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With the Shichinintai...

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"I'm bored." You can only guess who said that...the transvestite of the band of seven mercenaries. Renkotsu sighed deeply and then twisted around to face Jakotsu and he screamed.

"Dammit, go fuck a tree!"

The silence lasted for about two seconds and then Jakotsu began rambling again about who know's what. Bankotsu was used to it and learned to put earplugs in his ears. (Duh! Where else would he put them?)

"Why is the sky blue? I mean, come on! I could have been pink or purple or green or something! Blue is just so...so boring."

Suikotsu held his head in his hands. "Dear God, save my poor head." Mukotsu was behind him and just shook his head slightly.

"I agree." He said, and was then accompanied with a nod from Ginkotsu.

"Ohhh...red would look good too--"

Renkotsu just got really pissed and then turned around, screaming at Jakotsu. "Shut the fuck up already if you don't want to get eaten by a fucking monster with a fucking spike that it fucking pokes in your fucking stomach and fucking kills you bitch and puts you in fucking hell!"

Jakotsu was busy counting on his fingers and it seemed he hadn't been paying any attention. Then he looked up at Renkotsu. "You said the 'f' word...uh...seven times! And you called me a bitch! You SINNED!"

"Oh, dear GOD!" Renkotsu screamed across the land, his voice echoing everywhere.

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"Let's go...that way!" The red haired hyper demon said, pointing in a random direction, bouncing up and down on his feet. Genbu, the strategist of the pack held his head in his hands and covered his eyes.

"Please stop that disgusting action, Suzaku!" He pleaded along with the other three demons, Byakko, Seiryuu and their leader Hoshiyomi.

"But, why cant we go that way? It's clearer and nicer an funner and playfuller and stuff!" Suzaku named all these reasons why they should go that way very giddy.

Hoshiyomi came up to the youngest of the ninjas and sighed deeply. "Did you have any sweets today?" He asked simply. Suzaku stopped jumping up and down like a love-struck cheerleader and then bit his bottom lip.

"Maybeeeeeee."

"Yes or no?" Byakko added, very annoyed by their phoenix-demon-ninja-gay-dude. Suzaku bounced up and down again, squealing with delight.

"YES! I had three sweet rice balls, a swirly thing I stole from that bitch with the wierdo skirt (Kagome.), and...these really tough but sweet things." He held up gumdrops which were probably most likely for Shippo. "OH! AND I REALLY MISS THAT CUTIE, um...HOJO!"

Genbu looked like he was about to vomit. Byakko and Seiryuu shared the same shocked looks and Hoshiyomi shook his head. "If you didn't fight good, I don't think we'd have you."

Suzaku just shrugged and waited a minute until he finally thought of something. "You're saying I'm stupid?"

"BOY! NOTHING GETS BY YOU, DOES IT?" The other four all asked at the same time.

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Bankotsu stopped dead in his tracks, catching everyone's attention...except Jakotsu. "Did you hear that?" He asked, turning to Renkotsu who looked very pissed.

"Besides Jakotsu rambling about why horses are big? No." Renkotsu answered very rudely, as you can imagine and Ginkotsu just said his usual thing. (Gesh!)

"I mean, they could be pea sized, but we wont be able to ride--"

Bankotsu rolled his eyes and then began the normal conversation again, trying to ignore the transvestite's own talk. "No, but did you hear like other men screaming?"

That totally snapped Jakotsu out of his conversation. "What? Men? Where?"

"LOOK AROUND YOU!" Everyone answered.

(boy, don't these two groups have a lot in common?)

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"You guys...did you hear anything?" Hoshiyomi asked his group of ninja-demons. Everyone shrugged while a certain random someone screamed across the distance.

"I'M HUNGRY!"

All five of the ninjas froze and then they heard giggling to where Suzaku kneeled. Then, he screamed out too. "DITTO!"

The voice from afar could be heard screaming back. "WHO ARE YOU?"

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After shouting, Jakotsu turned to Renkotsu and hid behind him. "Someone's talking to me."

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"No shit, Sherlock."

"OW!"

"You idiot, Suzaku! You're leading people right towards us!"

"And...?"

WHAP!

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to be continued...

how'd I do? please R&R! Like before, need more info? Email me!

-Ididntdoit07


	2. Chickens and Snakes

Second chapter to Jakotsu Vs. Suzaku...I am suffering madly from writers block and if you have any ideas which you'd like to share with me, please do so!

**Thanks to my Reviewers:**

**furuba232luver323: **yeah, Suzaku was the phoenix demon that hit on Akitoki Hojo...no, the episode isn't in the U.S. yet, but since I got the dvd of it off of Ebay, I got to see it and instantly fell in love with the episodes with them. Thanks for youer review, I UPDATED!

**silver starlight kitsune: **LOL. Is that all you can say? JK, I luv you!

**Touya-no-Kogakure: **well, they aren't really THAT random, but...OKAY! I might in the next chapter! I added a little shiny in here for you.

**Disclaimer: I do not own Inuyasha.**

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Okay, somehow the Shichinintai and Hoshiyomi group meet. (I have writers block on how they meet, so...BEAR WITH ME!)

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Hoshiyomi stepped in front of his ninjas and yelled at the Shichinintai, wondering who the hell they even were. "Tell me your names, or you wont have to suffer!"

Bankotsu and the six other mercenaries laughed and pulled out their weapons. "Us suffer? How about YOU suffer!" He yelled back.

Suzaku peeked out of his large black coat and eyed the group of men and licked his lips. "Hey, Hoshiyomi...they're all men!"

Hoshiyomi glared back at the phoenix-ninja-demon. "No, really?" He tried to sound dumfounded but Suzaku finally got what he meant, and then looked back to the group.

"Hey...why do they have a wench with them?" He asked, not really to anyone specifically, but made it loud enough for the Shichinintai to hear.

Bankotsu, Renkotsu, Suikotsu, Mukotsu, Ginkotsu, and Kyokotsu looked to Jakotsu who practically had hell flaming up behind him. "What-did-y-you-call-m-m-m-meeeee?" he managed through clenched teeth. The other mercenaries slowly backed away from their totally pissed member.

Suzaku came back to his senses and realized that the 'woman' was indeed a man. "Oh...sorry...he's cute."

Jakotsu's eyes grew wide and he stared at the phoenix man. 'That freak called me cute...' he looked to the other Shichinintai who stared blankly at him and back to Suzaku.

"You are too!" He yelled back, earning a smirk from the phoenix.

In almost a flash of light, Suzaku had Jakotsu pinned to a tree, and stared at the snake-fang markings on his face. "Ooo, I like those...they match your yukata and eyes." Okay, from this point on, even for Jakotsu, this guy was freaking him out.

Then, to everyone's surprise, Suzaku licked– (yes I said 'licked') Jakotsu's cheek. "HOLY SHIT!" Jakotsu screamed, very high I might add, as he pushed the phoenix demon away. "Get away from me!"

Suzaku was pushed on his but on the ground and pointed up at him. "You pushed me down!" Jakotsu looked more pissed than ever as he yelled back at the demon.

"NO CRAP!"

The Shichinintai and Hoshiyomi group stared at the two, not blinking except for Renkotsu who just squinted his eyes and looked away, squealing.

Suzaku was now pissed as you can tell from being pushed and he turned into his phoenix form, and Jakotsu reached for his sword.

"Oh, a sword? What are you going to do? Whack me to death?" Suzaku taunted, not seeing the way there were separate blades from the sword.

"Oh, seriously, Chicken-boy!"

"I'm a phoenix!"

"Really? But did you know that snakes eat little birdies?"

"Oh, really?" And then Suzaku chased Jakotsu around, occasionally pecking at the ground near the mercenary's feet. Jakotsu ran quickly, trying to get away from this giant 'chicken.' "You run like a girl!" Suzaku said, whipping up his feathers.

Jakotsu then came up with a good comeback. "You would too if you'd run a little faster!"

Suddenly, Suzaku stopped running and stared at the sword Bankotsu had. "Ooo...pointy."

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how was that? Love it? hate it? please tell me so in a review!

-Ididntdoit07


	3. Girlie Guys

**Jakotsu Vs. Suzaku CHAPTER 3**

Oh, my God. It's been so long, and I apologize! Writers block is a bitch and I am very sorry. I've been caught up with a lot of stuff lately and hopefully I'll get this fiction up and working again.

**disclaimer: Dont own Shichinintai, Hoshiyomi group, or anything...except my laptop. **

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Bankotsu stared at the large bird that seemed to be hypnotized by the shiny Banryuu. "Um...I'm Bankotsu." He said innocently, trying not to trigger anything bad. Jakotsu stopped running, and turned back to see the giant chicken walking closer to Bankotsu. 

"Oh, shit no."

The transexual zombie jumped out infront of Suzaku, and growled. "Mr. Chicken boy, shut up. I mean-- Don't look at him that way. He's mine."

At that same time, Genbu and Renkotsu slapped a hand to their foreheads, groaning. Suzaku slowly morphed back into his normal form with his arms still crossed behind his back. "Fine. Then you can't have Hoshiyomi-sama."

"Fine." Jakotsu said.

"Fine." Suzaku said, turning around.

"Fine." Jakotsu said, backing up.

"Fine." Suzaku said, placing his hands on his hips, smiling.

"Alright." Jakotsu said, challenging the demon.

"Alright." Suzaku caught Jakotsu's eye and giggled.

"...This is so wierd!" Jakotsu blushed.

"I know!" Suzaku exclaimed, turning around to grab Jakotsu's hands in his and the two bounced up and down in a sissy squeal.

"Have you ever wondered why a pig is called a 'pig'?" Jakotsu asked, with a happy-go expression that Suzaku also had.

"All the time! Have you ever noticed that Bankotsu looks like Hiten?"

"...Who?" Jakotsu asked.

"What?"

"Where?"

"Why?"

"Why 'why' and what?" Jakotsu pondered.

"What?"

"What?"

"Nevermind!"

"Okay! Have you ever noticed that Hoshiyomi looks like that dude in the 1st Inuyasha movie?" Jakotsu asked, looking past Suzaku to the leader of the Gods.

"Oh yeah! And like...Have you ever done a mastrubation?"

"...No...have you?" Jakotsu asked in wonderment. Suzaku turned red and giggled, also looking away from everyone.

"Yeah." Suzaku smiled back at everyone, making them all back away slowly. "I like to look at things giving birth." He giggled once again, making the others all back away more. "What? I like the blood."

"I like blood lust." Jakotsu strolled up to the demon again.

"I like blood on cute men."

"I like blood on women...I hate women. Every woman must die."

"Nah...not all of them are bad. Besides without women, men wouldn't be born unless..." Suzaku gasped, and the entire Hoshiyomi group ran up to him gasping also.

"He-he just said something semi-smart!" Genbu rejoiced. Seiryuu and Byakko hugged Suzaku around the sides, making the phoenix blush. "You sure proved us wrong about being 'completely' stupid!"

"The square root of 144 is 12."

"Oh, my God!" Hoshiyomi exclaimed, and glomped Suzaku from behind. "You are so much smarter thatn that stupid bitch, Tsukiyomi!" Inside, Suzaku did a victory dance.

"Well...that's...interesting." Jakotsu proclaimed, turning back to the Shichinintai. Renkotsu stepped infront of the rest of the mercenaries and pointed to Jakotsu.

"If I had to choose between you and that chicken, I'd chose you. I don't think I could ever live with another genius."

"So I can stay?"

"Yeah, I guess so."

"Yay!"

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Ok, been a long time since I updated, sorry. Ok, please R&R, I love all of you, and I hope you didn't forget about this fiction!

-Ididntdoit07


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